Halloween

I don't see the necessity in halloween... dress up and gather candy? Why? Who figured it would be a good idea to dress small children up in overly expensive ensembles and parade them around in the cold, at night, to strangers front doors? Any other day of the year we yell at our kids to 'not take candy from strangers... don't wear that mask, you won't be able to see where you are walking!... don't walk around in the dark... don't go to the neighbors unless you are invited... etc' So I can understand why it would be confusing to the kids to do this... but just this one night! It makes no sense to me... 

 Not to mention all of the morons that take it upon themselves to destroy things for no apparent reason. I mean yes, there are morons everywhere, and they will forever do what they can to ruin other peoples days... but why is it so important to make a big splash on this particular day? Is there some rule that states that on October 31st, you MUST be as stupid, irresponsible and thoughtless as is humanly possible? Stuff gets destroyed, kids get injured, things are stolen, lives are taken, and it makes no freaking sense to me. It is just another day, stuck in the midst of 364 others just like it. (but then I have some serious feelings about Valentines Day also... but that is another rant) 

People also decorate for Halloween, which I don't get. Why doesn't anyone go all ape-sh*t and decorate for Canada Day, or Labor Day (OMG, imagine the decorations that would be put up for that! yikes...) People's lawns are strewn with fake tomb stones and fake mummies. Their railings are strung with lights, spiders and cob webs (things we try to avoid every other day of the year... guess it gives unclean people the upper hand this time of the year! lol) There are hacked up pumpkins layed around with lit candles in them which is clearly a fire hazard any other day of the year, but is completely expected and condoned on this day.  

And the horror movies? WHY!?!!? Who could ever enjoy sitting there watching people get slashed to bits? Laughing burns calories and creates an overall good feeling? Why would anyone watch anything that doesn't make them giggle? SEE! I am clearly perplexed!!

People wear "masks" everyday. They pretend to be someone they aren't just to get through their days. So for them, maybe this time of the year is a nice break. I, personally, am the very same person 365 days a year. I am not a big candy eater, I don't see the point in dressing up, nor do I like the idea of my kids roaming the streets dressed like turtles, fetching candy from people I don't know, with all of those crazy morons running amok. But I guess right now, to my boys, this is just a chance to get a bunch of candy and dress like turtles. To them it is fun. But me in my cynical opinion, this is all unnecessary and superfluous. 

whoah

Sometimes you have good days... sometimes you have bad. Today would most certainly have fallen under the latter, and yet at the same time it wasn't all that horrible. 

First of all, I've had a bit of a tummy ache in the mornings, which makes things a bit slow going. *cranky bit #1* This morning was no exception. I got the boys ready and walked Zack to school. It was actually a really nice morning. By the time Jesse and I got home, my tummy was in need of nap. So I layed down while Jesse played his DS and watched cartoons in bed beside me. 

My Grandma arrived soon after, and we got busy with the task of preparing my potpourri for our Christmas show (which is at the end of November). Well, I ran out of my crystals and needed to run out. 

On the way to Canadian Tire, my windshield cracked! *cranky bit #2* I screamed at the top of my lungs and probably looked like a total lunatic to the people in the car beside me.  I called Tom to freak out (as he was supposed to be taking the truck in to have the chips repaired this summer), but he didn't answer. So I called his best friend (I really needed someone to yell at). So I hollered at him for a bit (and the poor sap listened like a champ) and ran into the store. I ran all over the store to find what I was looking for. I finally found it and grabbed a cart. As I threw 2 bags into the cart, the front wheel buckled in underneath, and shot the front end of the cart into a shelf... thus knocking a bunch of stuff onto the floor. *cranky bit #3* 

As the crap tumbled to the floor, I made a loud noise that could be construed as cursing and headed to the till. There was a woman ahead of me with $73 worth of stuff, and she payed for it all with CT money! *cranky bit #4* I stood there and watched the cashier count out $73 worth of 25 cent money.. I left the store and decided to run across the street and have an egg nog latte (the starbucks in my Safeway is illegaly making them already!!!!) and as I was trying to put the lid on, the cup folded in half and dumped scalding hot latte all over my hand. *cranky bit #5* 

I am sure I could carry on with my cranky bits, but I digress.... 

Even with all that ick, I still managed to make it through the day with a smile on my face and a bounce in my step. Because even though that all happened, I still survived. And what doesn't kill us makes us stronger. And now I know that it is going to take a hell of a lot to knock me down :)

Flashback

Have you ever noticed how one memory can start a domino effect? I have been living such an effect for the last few weeks. 

It was Thanksgiving, and we decided that it might be fun to do an 80's movie marathon while we ate our dinner. So I went into my basement, and dug out all of my 80's movies. I brought them all upstairs and lined them up by my tv in a very nice display. I am rather proud of my collection - there are a lot of good movies there! 

My family came over for dinner, and started looking at them. And then it happened. My brothers and I started talking about the movies. They were amazed at some of the ones I had. Some of them, they had forgotten about. We started reminiscing about the times we remembered watching them. We laughed at how lame they all seemed now, but how much we loved them back then. 

We didn't have a lot of money when we were growing up, so we relied heavily on movies (and music) for our entertainment. We watched movies as a family on a regular basis. So when we started talking about the old ones I had, memories started drudging up. My youngest brother got so excited to see one of them, he actually brought his dinner downstairs and watched it all by himself. 

We grew attachments to these characters, movies and actors. We have very specific sentimental value to Corey Haim, Corey Feldman, Tom Hanks, Shelley Long, Kurt Russell, Martin Short, Chevy Chase, Dan Akroyd, John Candy, Steve Martin, etc. We don't just see them as old movies; we see them as part of our history.

So I've spent 2 weeks watching old movies, thinking about growing  up, and all of the stuff that has happened to shape my life.  I sat and watched the movies I know are dorky, but still hold close to my heart.  My family may be growing up, and getting farther apart each year, but no matter what happens I know that when I put in one of these movies, I will sit in my living room and laugh. And although I may be the only one actually there, my sister, brothers and my Mom will be right there beside me, laughing along in spirit. And that will keep a smile on my face and a warmth in my heart that only those people, and these flashbacks, can bring. 

volleyball, again

I had volleyball again last night. I really didn't feel like going - yesterday kind of sucked! I felt all sad and blue, and so very lonely. The last thing I wanted was to go hang out with strangers and make myself even more vulnerable. 

But I did, and I'm glad! I had a great time. I didn't play as much as last time (we only subbed the setters this time for some reason...) but I still had fun. 

I remembered to wear a tank top under my shirt, so there was no flashing. And I wore a sports bra, so there was more coverage :) Oh yes, and I also had my new Nike knee pads on, which helped a lot with the diving and digging. Although I noticed something; I seemed to be more aggressive last time, when I was without knee padding. Odd, I think! 

Nothing too exciting happened. I did manage to spike a ball (and get the point) with my left hand, which I was super happy about. We won both of our games last night! (which worked out to be 4 matches against 2 teams) So next week we move up one tier. Hopefully we can step up our game, and continue to advance. But I guess we'll see what the future holds for GNO!!! 

At the very least, we are all having a really good time :)

dreams

Everyone has dreams. When I was a kid, I wanted to be either a lawyer or a plastic surgeon. I loved the idea of arguing for a living (guess I would have been a litigator) or sucking fat out of people. (I know, strange, right!) Other than the crazy, uber expensive and hideously lengthly educations that would be required for those to be a part of my life, there have been 2 constants. 1. I dreamt of running in the Olympics. And you know what? I actually had the chance at one point in my life. Unfortunately, laziness got the better of me, and I let that part of my life pass me by. 2. I wanted to be a writer! I always dreamt of seeing my name in print on the front of a novel. I dreamt of holding a manuscript in my hands, and typing out the perfect dedication. That is something I still would like to accomplish, but I don't know if I have it in me. 

Writing is very personal. It is like exposing part of your soul onto paper. It opens up your mind and lets other people into your world. 

Running in the Olympics is also very personal. It is also exposing your soul, but it is in front of millions of people. It may only be a few seconds, but it will last forever. Only lasting 11 seconds per heat, plus also the finals (granted I even made it), but played forever in your mind, and the minds of craploads of friends, family and strangers. 

Both of those things are incredibly personal, and scary. Accomplishing them would make me feel on top of the world. But for now, they are safely tucked away in the corners of my mind... cuz after all, that is where dreams live, right?

organizing

Sometimes you get in these weird moods, and decide that everything needs to be clean! This such feeling has struck me in the last few days. I have written a list and decided that the clutter has to GO! 

Tom and I spent 5 hours cleaning out our garage last weekend. Then we spent a few hours, the following day, cleaning our laundry room. Now I've thought of lots of other things to clean! I spent 2 hours, today, doing our pantry! It looks so nice now... everything in it's place, and the random little stuff is all organized into appropriate baskets. I am loving it! 

I still have the linen closet to do, the boys closets, and their dressers. It shouldn't take me too much longer, and it will be sooo worth it! 

Clutter drives me crazy, and I live with the king of clutter! Tom leaves little piles of crap all over the place. He will come in, drop yet another pair of shoes at the door, put his jacket on the railing, drop junk on the counter in the kitchen, then put his keys, wallet and phones on another counter, and then drop his uniform on the floor in the closet! Why? Who knows... but I guess they really do mean "opposites attract". 

no husbands

So, yesterday, my sons and I went on a little road trip with my friend and her son. This is the first time that the 5 of us have travelled without the husbands tagging along. I was really excited - I knew it was going to be a lot of fun! And we did have a lot of fun, so far. 

We were an hour late getting out of town, but that is pretty usual. We got the boys all settled, and we were on the way! I forgot to grab a drink, so I was a bit thirsty... but better that than having to stop a bunch to tinkle. We managed to make 3/4 of the trip without any problems. Well, except for the time that Shar's phone rang, and she slammed on the brakes... and here is the conversation that followed... 

Me "what the hell was that!?!?"

Her "I thought it was radar!"

Me "Oh, you have a detector in here??"

Her "No..."

Me "Ha ha ha!! Okay..."

It was funny... guess you had to be there... 

Meanwhile, our husbands (and her oldest son) are still at home, doing, and planning, God only knows what! I am sure that our saving grace is the fact that one of the kids is still there... or the guys would be in Vegas by now, I'm sure! I left Tom with a "to do" list, so lets just hope at least one of those things gets done :) I am fairly certain that my brothers borrowed quad will be put to good use the next 2 days. Boys will be boys... hey? 

So we sit here, in a 12x12 hotel room, with the bathroom sink in full view of the room, while our "men" are at home, plotting world domination. But they know better than to do anything stupid... after all, we are close to West Edmonton Mall... and I've been known to be a bit of a vindictive shopper before! 

it's all relative

Have you ever noticed how everything is relative? People are related to people, weirdness is commonly related to a full moon, people who live in the snow hate it, and people who live in the sun love it! Nothing makes sense, and the grass is always greener wherever you are not. 

Well I live here, where it snows, with my relatives, last night there was a fullish looking moon, and my grass is really green. But I have problems, you have problems, they have problems... we all have problems; and they are all relative. They are relative to our surroundings, to our education, to our income, to our family, to our gender and can sometimes even be relative to the color of our hair. I am an educated female brunette who lives in a nice house and has an awesome family. That is who I am. 

For the last few days I've been struggling with my impression; my impression on my kids, on my husband, on my family and friends, and on the world. I want my kids to see me as someone strong, compassionate, nurturing, smart and fun. I want my husband to see me for everything I think he deserves from me. I want my family and friends to see me as exactly what they need me to be. And I want the world to see me as a necessary footprint on the earth. 

Sitting down and really thinking about that sort of thing can either make or break you. And I am not gonna lie - it broke me. I have a tendency to see the negative in most things, and instead of seeing all the good and amazing things I have done, I saw all that I haven't. Being negative like that can really hurt, and I'm tired of hurting. So I am trying to learn to see the positive. My life isn't bad. I have a lot to be thankful for. And from now on I am going to try to see the relativity in everything :)

volleyball

I used to be very active. I played every sport that was available to me in school. I would start volleyball in September, play it through until basketball started in November, play that through until track and field started in April...and then play outdoors all summer long. Sports were not only something I played, but I also watched religiously. 

Long gone are those days, and now I am happy if I can get a few minutes of uninterrupted play time on my Wii Fit. I no longer watch sports on tv, or follow any of the teams like I used to. (except the last game at Yankee Stadium - I watched that, as it was the end of an incredible era) 

Last week a friend contacted me and asked me if I wanted to play Ladies League Volleyball with her. I jumped at the chance, as I still love volleyball even after all these years. Last night was my first game. I haven't played since I was just pregnant with my youngest (and he turned 3 in June!) I wasn't too concerned with knee pads, as I didn't think I would be "with it" enough to be digging for balls, anyways. 

Mistake 1 - don't listen to your gut... listen to the pleading your knees are doing with you!! 

I dug, I dove, I put my poor 27 year old knees through hell last night! (keep in mind, I was told at 14 that my knees would need to be replaced by the time I was 30, if I kept playing the way I did) It was instinct! You see a ball, noone else is going for it, you dive! I knew I did a no-no when I could hear the flesh on my knees burning off onto the glossy wood floor of the gym. Whoops!!! 

That wasn't my only mistake last night... 

Mistake 2 - don't wear an everyday bra when you are playing sports... if nothing else, sports bras have more coverage in the chance of an exposure. 

Ya, I blocked the ball (which is quite the feat when you are "vertically challenged" as I am!) and as I was coming down, I realized that the thing on my face was in fact my own t-shirt. I swore rather loud, and pulled my shirt down. Much to my dismay, it had been up over my nose, and my right breast, adorned in my pretty black CK bra, was full-on exposed. Much to MY dismay, but I am fairly certain that the ref was gay, so perhaps she enjoyed it! 

Mistake 3 - don't wear a short shirt when you have intentions of jumping at the net with your arms up over your head!!

My stretch-marked GUT was flopping about last night, excited to be exposed to fresh air. I was not so thrilled that it was out in the open... I work VERY hard to keep that nastiness under wraps!! But such is life... 

I dove, I dug, I blocked and exposed myself, I served 8 points in a row, I set many successful balls, I hit a few shots over the net, I ran, I dripped with sweat, I ravaged my knees, and I can't remember the last time I've had that much fun :) 

Hello volleyball; I am Jennie... Remember me?