my, how times have changed.

I've been in awe lately, of how big my oldest son is getting. I can not believe that he will be 5 years old in 2 short weeks. It is amazing to me that 5 year has already passed since I was big, pregnant and uncomfortable. 5 years ago I was living in a small 2 bedroom apartment...just me and Tom (on the 4th floor...in a walk-up, I should point out!). We were excited to have a baby and start our family, but so terrified all at the same time. And now, that little baby that scared us out of our minds is about to turn 5! He will be starting kindergarten in the fall. I am boggled, and almost sad. Sad that this is the last summer we get him all to ourselves. Sad that he will no longer be my baby. Sad that he will not be here every day to make me smile and play with his brother. Sad that, once again, things are changing. But I am happy, because he is a great little boy, and I know he will continue to grow and blossom into his own little person.
And no matter what happens, I will always, and forever, be his Mommy. The same Mommy who bawled when the doctor laid him on my chest when he was born. The same Mommy who cried the day he learned to crawl. The same Mommy who cried when he took his first steps. The same Mommy who got teary when I dropped him off for his first day at playschool. And he will always, and forever, be my baby. My first baby. My only blonde haired, blue eyed, wonderful baby.
Things certainly are different from 5 years ago. I may look and act pretty much the same, but I am not that 22 year old anymore. I have more confidence in myself as a Mother. I have less fear and worry, and yet strangely I have the same amount (if you are a Mom, you will know what I mean). I have not one, but two, wonderful, beautiful, healthy and hilarious little boys. My marriage with Tom is as strong as ever, and we continue to grow and learn together. And yet whenever I look at those two boys, I can remember, in detail, the day I found out I was pregnant with both of them, the long journey through the 9 months of pregnancy, the moments leading up to their births, the feelings and emotions, the trials and tribulations that followed, and all of the wonderful things since.
I can't believe how much things have changed. My boys are their own little people, both with their very own unique personality. I love and adore them, and can't wait to see what they become. But I am still amazed at how fast time has gone by.
So cherish every day. Because one day it will be you, watching your first baby taking his first steps, sleeping in his very first big boy bed, walking away from you and into school for the first time....and you will be the one welling up with tears in your eyes, remembering the way he smelled and felt as a baby, and wishing that just for one split second, everything could be as it was....but really excited for the future. Time goes by so quickly. They change so fast. But in my heart, my boys will always be the same tiny little bundles I brought home from the hospital - so small and fragile....and all of my heart.