what??

Do you ever get the feeling that you are standing in a room, and everything is just as it should be. And then someone walks up behind you and starts spinning you around and around. You are twisting quickly, trying to keep the chunks from escaping your mouth, but you know it's only a matter of time before someone gets splashed.
Then you stop spinning and you survey the damage. Black is now white. Up is now down. Everything you seemed to know is now completely different. And that person, the one person who was always stable is now an imposter; a sheep in wolfs clothing. Nothing is as it should be, and you never know if it will again.
Well.... Welcome to my world!
I've been spinning for quite some time now, and am just noticing that the spinning is starting to slow and my surroundings are becoming clearer. Problem is, what do you do when everything you knew as your surroundings are no longer familiar? Hmm.... Conundrum!
So, while the spinning is slowing,I'm trying to get my bearings. But I have a sinking suspicion that nothing will ever be the same again.
But that's just life, right?
Xoxo

A Fine Line

Have you ever noticed just how many "fine lines" there are in this universe? And for as many as there are, there are even more people who will tell you about them. Gotta love people who have noses like Pinochio and love to shove it where it shouldn't be. But that is a rant for another time. 

Today we are focusing on lines. They are everywhere you look. It is the "fine lines" that need a bit closer inspection to be properly seen. It exists between being forceful or aggressive; being strong or bitchy; being opinionated or obnoxious; being happy or drugged; being definitive or psychotic; being bummed or clinically depressed..... And the list continues. 

People are always quick to point out the "fine line" that exists when two people of the opposite sex are friends. And those people can bite me. For as long as I can remember, I've been friends with boys. I always found girls to be harder to befriend, for many reasons. And as I've grown older, I've noticed that nothing has changed in that department. I have a few girl friends whom I adore, but I rarely attempt at adding more to the roster. Why rock the boat? So if I were to sit down and calculate it, the boys would still come out on top in the numbers. And I'm perfectly fine with that. I enjoy sports and belching.. so it works out nicely.

But there will always be one or two (or several in my case) women who just don't approve of the co-ed friendship situation. And that just beyond drives me nuts. Come on people! Just cuz the equipment would work well together, doesn't mean I'm gonna test drive it. 

I am wondering who drew these lines, and just how permanent they are. Cuz I'm aching to find myself a big fat eraser, and maybe move a few of them just a teensy bit to the left. And no, I'm not talking about that line.... Get your head out of the gutter ;)

xoxo

oh come on!

I am one of those very strangely anal people about my yard. Every spring, I fertilize. Every fall, I fertilize. Every summer, I weed and water and mow and pluck and fuss over the appearance of the green stuff. So you can imagine my chagrin to find dead spots. YES! Dead little patches in my otherwise green lawn. 

I could blame the meandering dog that has been mysteriously leaving dead patches on my neighbors lawns, but unfortunately I have no one to blame but myself in this case. I bought some weed killer this weekend, after carefully reading the back label to ensure it won't kill the grass, only the unsightly yellow "flowers". So I went out on Sunday night, armed with the weed poison, and sprayed the hell out of them. Pleased with myself, I came inside and went to sleep. The bottle ensured that the weeds would be controlled in just 1-2 days. So I closed my eyes and drifted off into a blissful slumber, well aware that the little beastly weeds would be out of my life, and lawn, in a short time. 

I awoke the next morning with a smile on my face that could only have been placed there by the 'green lawn fairies'. I went about my business, pleased with the idea of the poison killing as I did the dishes. Talk about multi-tasking! I glanced in my backyard later, and was puzzled at what I saw. Only the left half of my yard had drooping weeds, and the other half was still all bright and perky. Odd. I shrugged it off and hoped that the rest would soon succumb to their inevitable death. 

I took my son to school on Tuesday morning, and gasped at the sight that awaited me in my front yard. Apparently over the course of Monday, the weed killer hit it's full stride, and ended the life of the weeds in my front yard..... along with the grass that surrounded it! NOT HAPPY! I have little dead circles in my grass! These unsightly little spots are wearing on my brain, and creating stress that I'd rather not have. And I mean, come on! I read the bottle! It said it would kill all weeds... and it mentioned nothing about taking your lawn with them! 

So using the Scotts Turf Builder, I guess, was just a moot point, as I ended up killing little patches with Scotts weed killer. Talk about ironic irony. 

xoxo

hair...

Zack and Jesse are not really big on hair cuts. Zack's hair is so thick, and he has a very unfortunate double crown that gives him a wicked mohawk. And Jesse just looks like a little hooligan. So when their hair grows out, they look like little beatles. Not the icky ones that crawl on the ground, but the ones that sang  "All We Need is Love". Either way, I think they're adorable. 

I took them for haircuts this weekend, and they look SO CUTE! They ordinarily scream bloody murder and cry the whole time, so I was hesitant to take them in.  But after discussing it a bit, and telling them that upon completion they would get a sucker, they agreed. They both sat at the same time. They were great! They talked with their hair dressers, laughed, and didn't flip out once! 

See... persistence, people!! If at first you don't succeed, wait for 3-4 years and try again! 

xoxo

In the blink of an eye

So yeah, the last time I was regaling you with the goings-on of my world, I was sick in bed. I puked, I fainted, I wanted to die. Little did I know that just 10 days later, my entire world as I knew it would change forever. 

I am writing this now because I have finally had time to wrap my head around it, and although I have not accepted it as fact yet, I realize that it is reality. (try to figure that one out, and you'll know where my head has been for a month and a half) 

My Grandma, Rita Campbell, peacefully left the earth on April 18, 2009. She suffered a rare, but massive, heart attack while making tea and watching Murder She Wrote in her home. My Grandma was an amazing woman; one I aspire to emulate as the years pass me by. She was warm and caring, compassionate and giving, passionate and thoughtful, and one of the most amazing people I have ever had the pleasure of knowing. Most people know their grandparents, but never really "know" them. I, however, had the privilege of actually knowing my Grandma. 

For as far back as I can remember, she has been there. We always lived close enough for us to see her regularly, if she wasn't living with us. She lived with us for many years, and was always there for the major stuff in our lives. I had the joy of living with her for my senior year of high school. If I could do it again, I would have spent much more time with her in our home, and much less time out being a 16 year old girl. But alas, hind-sight is 20/20. Now all I can do is remember the times we spent together in our 2 bedroom apartment, watching the news and eating pizza and salad. 

That wouldn't be the last time I lived with her though, as she had a house just down the driveway from my family after I graduated. We lived that way until I moved out of my Mom's house, and into my own when I was 20. Despite the distance between us, we remained close, as she did with my whole family. 

She was there the day I got married, met my oldest son when he was only 2 weeks old, and was there with open arms the day we moved back to the city where my whole family lived. She was there the day I had my second son, and spent several hours in the hospital with me before I went home with him. She was there every morning I called her, crying because I had no sleep and my oldest was already awake. She was there the day I moved away, and visited me while we spent a year in Edmonton. She was there the day I moved back, expressing her approval for my new home. She was there for almost every single Christmas, birthday, anniversary, family get-together... among other things. Not only that, I saw her several times a week, and talked to her almost every day. 

So yes, I was incredibly close with her. And although that is making this so much harder to get through, I wouldn't change it for the world. Because I may miss her, and it breaks my heart every time I think of never seeing her again, I have so many memories to keep me smiling for the rest of my life... 

Good-bye Grandma. I will love and miss you forever. xoxo