Tuesday, August 18, 2009

Ache

Hearts are in our bodies to supply us with blood. Are we all in agreement? And emotions exist merely in the confines of our brains. So explain to me this... why is it that your heart physically hurts when your feelings get smashed? It's some weird phenomenon, and I'm not a fan! 
Having smashed feelings to deal with is hard enough without the actual hurt to deal with, too. 
I have some experience with this. My heart has broken over and over again over the last few months. It was good and solid for many years, and then all hell broke loose, and the poor little thing has been sitting there, in shards, for months. Having a shardy heart is probably not healthy, nor is it comfortable. But it just seems to be one thing after another, and my poor little thub-dubber is just taking a big shit kicking. I know that one day it will resume thumping in it's proper form, but for now I am just trying to get used to having a shattered aortic pump in my chest. It's not the easiest thing to do, as getting it back to its proper form is going to take an insane amount of work on my part. But I guess you gotta do what has to be done. 
So for now, I will live with my shardy heart, and wish for the day that it puts itself back together. Besides, nobody ever died from a broken heart, right? Intolerable pain or not, I will survive. 
xoxo

1 comment:

deedmeyer said...

Hey girl...I hope that whatever you are going through sure clears up soon. You are too good of a person to have your heart in shards and I pray you get it put together and working right soon.
Love and hugs!