Thursday, October 29, 2009

Love at first sight, and another universal dilemma

Someone recently asked me if I believed in 'love at first sight'. I immediately said no. No no no. I think I said no 6 or 7 times. Granted, I may not be the best person to ask about matters of the heart. I am slightly jaded and cynical, due in part to the state of my life at the moment. But back to the topic at hand.
Love at first sight. I want to say yes, I believe in it, because it gives a sense of whimsical perfection that everyone searches for. I want to say yes, but I just really don't think I can. And as far as my children go, I absolutely loved them the second I saw them. But they were a part of me for 9 months prior to our meeting, so I think that doesn't really count.
I believe in 'like at first sight'. I think it is a split second decision that your brain makes when you first see someone. You either like them, or you don't. It's easy, it's quick, and it's how I roll (as well as the rest of humanity). And I think after time, maybe like can turn to love. But I don't think love is something that you just immediately feel, you need to work for that emotion.
Infatuation can be easily mistaken as love, and I believe it is mistaken frequently. I remember being in school and thinking I was just completely head over heels for someone.. thinking I wanted to be with them forever, and I couldn't imagine life without them in it. And now as I'm sitting here, I know for a fact that it has been years and years since I have spoken to these boys, and I'm still alive. Imagine that. Infatuation... it'll get you every time.
Love is a tricky and finicky emotion. It can be all-consuming and irrevocable... but it is also fleeting. It can come and go, just like a common cold. And it really sucks. Falling for someone may be one of the greatest feelings on earth. Having the ground pulled out from under you, and the whole swarm of emotion... it's great. It's not so great when all of that stops, though.
And while I'm on the topic of love and emotions.. Soulmates. Another no-no. I think in a world with 5 billion people, the thought of soulmates is unrealistic. Some people believe that there is 1 perfect person for them out there. I believe that there may be 1 person out there who seems more right for you than anyone else, but I believe that everyone gets more than 1 person. Human beings are complex, and forever changing. So I believe that someone who might have been right for you 10 years ago may not be right for you now. I do believe, however, that when you find someone that you totally click with, and you have tons in common with, you should hold on tight. Because finding someone you can be yourself with, and who accepts you for who you are... I think that is the real happy ending.
Love at first sight.... Soulmates... Two universal dilemmas, and something that every person on earth has an opinion about. And now you know mine.