Thursday, March 27, 2008

uphill battle

Okay, so it's been a while...again! And I apologize to the one person who even bothers reading this :)
Since my last post, I was diagnosed with Hypothyroidism. I had wondered if I had this problem for a few years now. I researched it a lot, and found that I had numerous symptoms assosiated with the disease. After badgering my doctor for a looooong time, he finally caved and prescribed me some meds to help with this problem. And low and behold, THEY HELPED! I finally feel like myself again. It is the weirdest feeling to be in your own body, but not be yourself. To feel like a complete stranger to yourself, and not know why, or how to fix it. To know that something is wrong, and to badly want help, but not be given it. It sucks! But, I am on the road to recovery, finally, and so happy that I am finally here. It will be an uphill battle for me, as I will be medicated forever now. But at least I will be myself, medicated...but, myself. I have a lot of things to fix, now that I am on the meds. When my thyroid was broken, a lot of things went wrong with me. And now it is up to me to repair them. I have a bunch of weight to lose, and I am hoping that with my thyroid working again, I won't struggle as much as I have been. I have to repair my hair, as it got totally brittle and dry, and starting breaking off and falling out. I have my skin to re-hydrate, as it got so dry, it started flaking. I have broken bridges to mend, as when you aren't happy with yourself, you tend to cease contact with people in your life. And that is just scratching the surface.
So I have a real uphill battle going on right now. But I am hoping that with some hard work, determination, help from my friends and family, and by the grace of God, I will succeed and once again be the person that I used to be...once again be the person I aspire to be......once again be me.

Monday, March 17, 2008

been a while

Wow - it's been a while since I posted. MY BAD! I blame my craptacular laptop. The thing is so sporadic, I never know when it will work. And seeing as I spend more time upstairs, it makes it harder to use the computer downstairs :)
Not a whole lot has changed around here. Zack went to his first "school friend" birthday party, the day before we had his party. It was a bit peculiar. He wasn't just the only boy there, he was the only boy who was invited! The Mom of the birthday girl informed me that she only invited people from play-school that her daughter spoke of frequently. I guess I have a little ladies man on my hands! He had a great time. His little "girlfriend" was there, also. They play this little game, where they stand nose-to-nose and stare at eachother, then yell NOTHING and back away. I am not entirely sure how I feel about that....perhaps it is good that they will be attending separate kindergartens in the fall :)
I have our Vegas trip all planned. We are going down in April. Our anniversary isn't until May, but Tom is playing in a paintball league this summer, and it would have been hard to get away in May because of it. So, April it is! We are staying at the New York New York, and I am pumped! I can't wait to go. Tom and I are going down with some friends of ours. And, he surprised me by booking the Graceland Chapel! My big dream was to get married by "Elvis". I even had our entire Vegas trip planned for our wedding, and the whole honeymoon to Disneyland. But because of some family stuff, I wasn't able to. So we are going to renew our vows. Ya, we've only been married for 6 years, but who knows when we will make it back. Besides, it's gonna be so much fun! We are also going to see a Cirque De Soleil show, as well as David Copperfield. It should be a great time.
Right now my husband is out of town, again. So I have yet another "bedtime ritual" to do on my own. I just hope that the boys go to bed easily tonight, and don't get up a bunch of times. I feel really run down and exhausted today. All I want to do is get them to bed, get into my jammies, crawl into bed and watch Friends. Sounds like a party to me! Who knows, I may even throw a brownie into the mix :) WOO! I am living on the edge...I know!!

Saturday, March 8, 2008

my baby

My oldest baby turned 5 years old yesterday. FIVE! I can't believe it. I was in a blur all day, thinking back on when I was laying in that hospital bed, in horrible pain, and then with that epi needle in my spine. Oh the sweet release! If I could, I would walk around with one of those in all the time, LOL!
We didn't do a party for him yesterday, but my family all came over on Thursday night to see him. And we are having all of his friends over on Sunday afternoon for cake and stuff.
I am just amazed at how fast time goes by. My littlest baby will be 3 in a few months...and that is quite bizarre, too. Guess they can't stay babies forever....I just love getting snuggles, hearing "I love you Mommy....I miss you Mommy" etc. So I hope that doesn't stop still for a bit :)

Tuesday, March 4, 2008


Sometimes you get to talk to someone. Sometimes that someone and you have really great talks. Sometimes you feel all giddy and fluttery when you talk to that someone. Sometimes you pass your day with someone that you don't get to talk to a lot. Sometimes it is fun.
I had one of those sometimes, yesterday. I got to talk to a friend of mine, that I don't get to very often. It was fun, and I laughed a lot. I just wish that we could talk more.
I love days like that. Days where you are happy and smiling, and passing the time with a good friend. Those days are great. Sure, it may have been snowing yesterday. Sure, it may have been grey skied. But as far as I was concerned, it was a wonderful day.
I wish I could have more of those days. And who knows, now that my 'broken-ness' is getting fixed, I just might :)

Saturday, March 1, 2008


I just want to go on record...
Malibu is delicious.
That is all :)